#236;
today was a fucking awesome day.
HAHAHA.

speech day in the morning was total sian.
woke up at 5AM.
rode the bus in my freaking concert attire.
the stockings were damn white.
sigh.
then it was damn tiring, my legs almost died.

but ohmygod universal studios was freaking awesome.
loved the revenge of the mummy and the jurassic park rapids adventure.
those were the best.
can't wait for the battlestar galactica thing to open :D
dueling roller coasters.
fking cool.
haha i'm a rollercoaster junkie :DD
i will post photos next time so that my blog isn't so zz-.-
my legs are totally dead now hahaha, but it was so worth it.

anyway i'm at home eating domino's pizza.
freaking awesome.
four boxes finished just like that.

i seriously love it when my relatives come over from the ph.
we get to spend like mad and not feel guilt.
haha.
we'll feel it after they leave.

i bought stuff at universal studios today ;D took photos with gl mascots hahaha.
there's this book that says WTF?: what the frak?
lol -.-
so lame i couldn't take it, so i bought it LOLOL.

anyway i'm wasting my life away.
dont know what i'm doing with myself.
i'm so damn confused again.
homg.

#235;
speech day tomorrow!
i'm happy there's no school.
but we have to be in school by 715 in CONCERT ATTIRE.
ah zz.

anyway today cheered me up quite abit.
school is so epic.
i'm sry if i AP-ed anyone last night or today.

there's quite alot of hw this coming long weekend.
going universal tomorrow after speech day :D
then during the weekend we might be going overseas to like malaysia or indonesia or smth with my cousins.
packed omg.
and i have all this shit to do.
what a sad life i have.

anyway I LOVE FALL OUT BOY :D :D
hope we do thnks fr th mmrs for fusion.
its so cool acoustic.
i figured out a plucking version.

going to go play with my cousins again haha.
i feel so slack -.-

thanks to all those who tried to cheer me up yesterday(:
i love you guys.

#234;

I just don't know how to carry on.

Whatever I do just seems to blow up in my face.

Such a fucking failure.

Just want to throw myself at a wall and knock myself unconscious.

Anyway yeah.
School sucks, life sucks.
Everything practically sucks.
I'm in no mood to do anything other than choke on my pain-.-
Guitar won't work.
Talking won't work.

Just fucking leave me alone first, okay?

#233;

hai.
today's the weekend.
like finally.

I had ACE test yesterday.
total suck, I forgot to bring my notes.
Instead I had to crap out everything D:
I hope I pass by some miracle.
20% of humans marks.
2.4 on Thursday was total fail too.
I got overtaken at the very end and my stamina still sucks shit.
Position number 95 zz.

American Idol this week was quite satisfying. Tim Urban is out.
LOL.
And Idol Gives Back was quite cool.
David Cook was on it!
Haha he's still one of my favorite idols.
I'm listening to his album again now cos Cass told me to haha.
I miss his lyrics.
And his songs.

Speech Day rehearsal yesterday.
Quite okay.
Did quite well I guess.
Must wear concert attire without blazer D:
so hot.
SP on thursday with our alumni.
We went out to macs with 3C to eat. Even though it was quite fun and we gossiped quite alot.
Felt very very guilty for coming late for SP.
I think kengheng was pissed off.
Learnt a lot of valuable stuff that I will remember and teach the other juniors.
After that I tried colors ;D
I love it ALOT homg.
I keep replaying the recording -.-

Today I realized that most guys are dickheads.
Actually yesterday.
Sigh.
Really don't get them at all.
I'm still confused over you.

I'm going to listen to David Cook until I have to go out to the airport to fetch my family(:
Haven't seen them in 2 years.

#232;
Happy birthday yanting(:
Even tho its like half an hour early, nvm this is a blog lol.

Had speech day rehearsal for half an hour. Quite cool. Played 2sm with the timpani and trumpet and a few others. V fun.
Anyway i had an emotional breakdown on the bus home today.
I shouldn't be left alone for a long time. I'll go mad.

Bio test tmr. Studied quite a lot, hope i do well.
2.4 too, i'm going to run through the six rounds. I'm damn determined. Going to get silver i dont care.

Baked ytd(:
So fun, i almost forgot how fun actually.
Rly awesome.

I should rly update more often.
And be happy. Like bossini keeps saying.
I've been so emo lately.
Must smile more(:
Will post again tmr.

thats it.
i'm officially in love with ARTTM(:

#230;
Today's been a rly rly bad day so far.
I hurt you so much.
I came this close to knifing myself.
But I didn't.
I realized knifing myself would be the stupidest thing to do.

We've got ensemble test on monday I think.
Need to master Quintus and Fantasia by then.
And maybe if there's time rehearse with the juniors on monday morning.
I will pitch that high G.
Band yesterday was scary.
We screwed Mahler 3, kindof.
And 2SM was quite disastrous without the year4s.
I actually noticed myself moving around at some parts wtf.
Must play ALOT louder from now on.
And be confident of where to come in. Esp that scary part in the first movement.
Need to train the juniors alot more also.
Next year's SYF alr.
Wednesday and Thursday will be devoted to SP.
I want to reach that standard the seniors set for us. Maybe even pass it.

Can say my grades have been okay so far.
Except for math.
Math is the extreme alr, extremely bad.
Mrs Nancy Phua alr coming to talk to me to see whether I can "cope with the standard of SBGE maths".
Actually I cant.
But I dont know why the school put me there.
I don't rly get maths.
Its all a blur, stupid letters and equations and stuff.
I'm more humans and arts.
Screw school srsly.

Don't know when the Fusion results are coming.
But I hope they're good results.
We tried our best alr, no point looking back at what we did wrong.

I'm going to try and be a better person to you.
I have to prove to you that you can trust me.
And not disappoint you again.
Rly must try alot harder at everything.
Cant keep waiting for someone to push me.

#229;
i'm fcking pissed off at everything now.
went to sch and got a stupid migraine.
then some ppl pissed me off.
actually a lot of ppl pissed me off.
almost everybody did-.-
thats what a migraine does to my brain.
gives me like PMS or smth.

ANYWAY.
band today was crap.
i played like crap.
but i'm going to prac ALOT more.

tmr i'm staying back for fusion.
and wednesday's audition.
sigh hope we do well(:
fingers crossed!

hope i survive the week-.-
its started off idiotically.

ahhh zz so pissed i cant post properly.
will go cool down =.=

#228;
sigh.
last night i had a billion things to think about.
insomnia sucks because.
you cant sleep cos you're thinking of too much crap.
then in the end when you cant sleep you think more about that crap.
and it gets worse.
you get stuck with stupid thoughts and idiotic memories.
no one can help you cos they're all asleep.
and you're just alone in your room in the dark trying not to think about those stuff but they just keep coming back.
then you realize how screwed up your life is.
and everything falls apart.

today was a tiring day.
had to pretend to be happy and smile and laugh and be friendly even though i felt all broken and pissed off at everyone so that ppl wont notice anything.
and they didn't.
anyway the other stupid part with insomnia is that you're super tired in the morning.
couldn't concentrate during chem test made a few stupid errors but still got 13/16.
the day just passed in a blur.
remembered being quite sad that i wasnt playing mahler.
then we got called down(:
i like mahler.
it sounds rly cool.
i think the eflat clarinet is cool too.
too bad my sister cant bring hers home anymore-.-
was enjoying the music during full band(:

i'm going to organize my pile of workshit this weekend.
then i'm going to revise everything.
so that i dont lag behind everyone.

anyway i recently discovered a rocket to the moon (:
i like them alot now, i know i'm quite lag.



:D

#227;
Today was a soso day.
Hi I stole my old phone back to post-.-
Yeah so i stayed back 2hours and sp-ed cos i needed someone to go home with(:
In the end went w rongying LOL. Total epic win :D

Yesterday we watched our rhythm concert.
Quite good(: but that twosymphonic first entry was total embarrassing shit.
That part in blue shades was nice tho. Even though dirty failed badly. Oh and the wail.

Fusion auditions in a week. Hope we dont screw. Jy vivien, regina, yasmine(:

Pri sch syf on thurs(: jiayou to my sister, on the eflat clarinet lol. Damn pro.
She'll probably dsa dunman high. Haha.

Going to try and mug through th night(: totally blanked out past few lessons, need to catch up.
I hate headaches.
Alot.

Hope i dont die this week(:
Rly. Sigh.

#226;
Hai stalkers.
I'm posting again, like finally.
Yeah right now i'm sitting at home waiting for my stupid fever to go away.
Four days of headache led to this, total fml.
School is killing me.

The first band prac after Rhythm on Monday was really motivating.
Then Kaleidoscope was like a blur. But I brought my guitar and jammed w my gay partner Vivien and Regina after school in 3S, it was totally awesome.
We went through a few songs, Regina and Vivien sang, I played guitar, Weiting and Hongkai were audience LOL, coolest experience I've ever had in a long time.
Fusion's gonna rock(:

Good Friday yesterday.
Didn't go to church-.-
My parents cheated me wtf.
And I had to go out and walk walk when all I wanted to do was fall on the floor and die.
Bought a new oven.
I can bake cookies again :D

Looking back on term and term 2, I'm very disappointed in myself.
Last year I made myself a promise, but I'm breaking it.
I promised myself, I promised the teachers, I promised my friends.
But I'm not going to break it anymore.
I'm going to keep it or I'll kill myself.

Going to do all my homework today.
Then I'm going out to get a haircut :D
Watching Clash of the Titans tonight-.- the 2D version lol.
Hope I don't die in the cinema.

I'm going to try and post more often LOL.
Totally killing this place.

#236;
today was a fucking awesome day.
HAHAHA.

speech day in the morning was total sian.
woke up at 5AM.
rode the bus in my freaking concert attire.
the stockings were damn white.
sigh.
then it was damn tiring, my legs almost died.

but ohmygod universal studios was freaking awesome.
loved the revenge of the mummy and the jurassic park rapids adventure.
those were the best.
can't wait for the battlestar galactica thing to open :D
dueling roller coasters.
fking cool.
haha i'm a rollercoaster junkie :DD
i will post photos next time so that my blog isn't so zz-.-
my legs are totally dead now hahaha, but it was so worth it.

anyway i'm at home eating domino's pizza.
freaking awesome.
four boxes finished just like that.

i seriously love it when my relatives come over from the ph.
we get to spend like mad and not feel guilt.
haha.
we'll feel it after they leave.

i bought stuff at universal studios today ;D took photos with gl mascots hahaha.
there's this book that says WTF?: what the frak?
lol -.-
so lame i couldn't take it, so i bought it LOLOL.

anyway i'm wasting my life away.
dont know what i'm doing with myself.
i'm so damn confused again.
homg.

#235;
speech day tomorrow!
i'm happy there's no school.
but we have to be in school by 715 in CONCERT ATTIRE.
ah zz.

anyway today cheered me up quite abit.
school is so epic.
i'm sry if i AP-ed anyone last night or today.

there's quite alot of hw this coming long weekend.
going universal tomorrow after speech day :D
then during the weekend we might be going overseas to like malaysia or indonesia or smth with my cousins.
packed omg.
and i have all this shit to do.
what a sad life i have.

anyway I LOVE FALL OUT BOY :D :D
hope we do thnks fr th mmrs for fusion.
its so cool acoustic.
i figured out a plucking version.

going to go play with my cousins again haha.
i feel so slack -.-

thanks to all those who tried to cheer me up yesterday(:
i love you guys.

#234;

I just don't know how to carry on.

Whatever I do just seems to blow up in my face.

Such a fucking failure.

Just want to throw myself at a wall and knock myself unconscious.

Anyway yeah.
School sucks, life sucks.
Everything practically sucks.
I'm in no mood to do anything other than choke on my pain-.-
Guitar won't work.
Talking won't work.

Just fucking leave me alone first, okay?

#233;

hai.
today's the weekend.
like finally.

I had ACE test yesterday.
total suck, I forgot to bring my notes.
Instead I had to crap out everything D:
I hope I pass by some miracle.
20% of humans marks.
2.4 on Thursday was total fail too.
I got overtaken at the very end and my stamina still sucks shit.
Position number 95 zz.

American Idol this week was quite satisfying. Tim Urban is out.
LOL.
And Idol Gives Back was quite cool.
David Cook was on it!
Haha he's still one of my favorite idols.
I'm listening to his album again now cos Cass told me to haha.
I miss his lyrics.
And his songs.

Speech Day rehearsal yesterday.
Quite okay.
Did quite well I guess.
Must wear concert attire without blazer D:
so hot.
SP on thursday with our alumni.
We went out to macs with 3C to eat. Even though it was quite fun and we gossiped quite alot.
Felt very very guilty for coming late for SP.
I think kengheng was pissed off.
Learnt a lot of valuable stuff that I will remember and teach the other juniors.
After that I tried colors ;D
I love it ALOT homg.
I keep replaying the recording -.-

Today I realized that most guys are dickheads.
Actually yesterday.
Sigh.
Really don't get them at all.
I'm still confused over you.

I'm going to listen to David Cook until I have to go out to the airport to fetch my family(:
Haven't seen them in 2 years.

#232;
Happy birthday yanting(:
Even tho its like half an hour early, nvm this is a blog lol.

Had speech day rehearsal for half an hour. Quite cool. Played 2sm with the timpani and trumpet and a few others. V fun.
Anyway i had an emotional breakdown on the bus home today.
I shouldn't be left alone for a long time. I'll go mad.

Bio test tmr. Studied quite a lot, hope i do well.
2.4 too, i'm going to run through the six rounds. I'm damn determined. Going to get silver i dont care.

Baked ytd(:
So fun, i almost forgot how fun actually.
Rly awesome.

I should rly update more often.
And be happy. Like bossini keeps saying.
I've been so emo lately.
Must smile more(:
Will post again tmr.

thats it.
i'm officially in love with ARTTM(:

#230;
Today's been a rly rly bad day so far.
I hurt you so much.
I came this close to knifing myself.
But I didn't.
I realized knifing myself would be the stupidest thing to do.

We've got ensemble test on monday I think.
Need to master Quintus and Fantasia by then.
And maybe if there's time rehearse with the juniors on monday morning.
I will pitch that high G.
Band yesterday was scary.
We screwed Mahler 3, kindof.
And 2SM was quite disastrous without the year4s.
I actually noticed myself moving around at some parts wtf.
Must play ALOT louder from now on.
And be confident of where to come in. Esp that scary part in the first movement.
Need to train the juniors alot more also.
Next year's SYF alr.
Wednesday and Thursday will be devoted to SP.
I want to reach that standard the seniors set for us. Maybe even pass it.

Can say my grades have been okay so far.
Except for math.
Math is the extreme alr, extremely bad.
Mrs Nancy Phua alr coming to talk to me to see whether I can "cope with the standard of SBGE maths".
Actually I cant.
But I dont know why the school put me there.
I don't rly get maths.
Its all a blur, stupid letters and equations and stuff.
I'm more humans and arts.
Screw school srsly.

Don't know when the Fusion results are coming.
But I hope they're good results.
We tried our best alr, no point looking back at what we did wrong.

I'm going to try and be a better person to you.
I have to prove to you that you can trust me.
And not disappoint you again.
Rly must try alot harder at everything.
Cant keep waiting for someone to push me.

#229;
i'm fcking pissed off at everything now.
went to sch and got a stupid migraine.
then some ppl pissed me off.
actually a lot of ppl pissed me off.
almost everybody did-.-
thats what a migraine does to my brain.
gives me like PMS or smth.

ANYWAY.
band today was crap.
i played like crap.
but i'm going to prac ALOT more.

tmr i'm staying back for fusion.
and wednesday's audition.
sigh hope we do well(:
fingers crossed!

hope i survive the week-.-
its started off idiotically.

ahhh zz so pissed i cant post properly.
will go cool down =.=

#228;
sigh.
last night i had a billion things to think about.
insomnia sucks because.
you cant sleep cos you're thinking of too much crap.
then in the end when you cant sleep you think more about that crap.
and it gets worse.
you get stuck with stupid thoughts and idiotic memories.
no one can help you cos they're all asleep.
and you're just alone in your room in the dark trying not to think about those stuff but they just keep coming back.
then you realize how screwed up your life is.
and everything falls apart.

today was a tiring day.
had to pretend to be happy and smile and laugh and be friendly even though i felt all broken and pissed off at everyone so that ppl wont notice anything.
and they didn't.
anyway the other stupid part with insomnia is that you're super tired in the morning.
couldn't concentrate during chem test made a few stupid errors but still got 13/16.
the day just passed in a blur.
remembered being quite sad that i wasnt playing mahler.
then we got called down(:
i like mahler.
it sounds rly cool.
i think the eflat clarinet is cool too.
too bad my sister cant bring hers home anymore-.-
was enjoying the music during full band(:

i'm going to organize my pile of workshit this weekend.
then i'm going to revise everything.
so that i dont lag behind everyone.

anyway i recently discovered a rocket to the moon (:
i like them alot now, i know i'm quite lag.



:D

#227;
Today was a soso day.
Hi I stole my old phone back to post-.-
Yeah so i stayed back 2hours and sp-ed cos i needed someone to go home with(:
In the end went w rongying LOL. Total epic win :D

Yesterday we watched our rhythm concert.
Quite good(: but that twosymphonic first entry was total embarrassing shit.
That part in blue shades was nice tho. Even though dirty failed badly. Oh and the wail.

Fusion auditions in a week. Hope we dont screw. Jy vivien, regina, yasmine(:

Pri sch syf on thurs(: jiayou to my sister, on the eflat clarinet lol. Damn pro.
She'll probably dsa dunman high. Haha.

Going to try and mug through th night(: totally blanked out past few lessons, need to catch up.
I hate headaches.
Alot.

Hope i dont die this week(:
Rly. Sigh.

#226;
Hai stalkers.
I'm posting again, like finally.
Yeah right now i'm sitting at home waiting for my stupid fever to go away.
Four days of headache led to this, total fml.
School is killing me.

The first band prac after Rhythm on Monday was really motivating.
Then Kaleidoscope was like a blur. But I brought my guitar and jammed w my gay partner Vivien and Regina after school in 3S, it was totally awesome.
We went through a few songs, Regina and Vivien sang, I played guitar, Weiting and Hongkai were audience LOL, coolest experience I've ever had in a long time.
Fusion's gonna rock(:

Good Friday yesterday.
Didn't go to church-.-
My parents cheated me wtf.
And I had to go out and walk walk when all I wanted to do was fall on the floor and die.
Bought a new oven.
I can bake cookies again :D

Looking back on term and term 2, I'm very disappointed in myself.
Last year I made myself a promise, but I'm breaking it.
I promised myself, I promised the teachers, I promised my friends.
But I'm not going to break it anymore.
I'm going to keep it or I'll kill myself.

Going to do all my homework today.
Then I'm going out to get a haircut :D
Watching Clash of the Titans tonight-.- the 2D version lol.
Hope I don't die in the cinema.

I'm going to try and post more often LOL.
Totally killing this place.